Bored Anesthesiologist Randomly Intubating Sufferers on Ground

April 16, 2019

HOUSTON, TX – Discovering it to be a very sluggish day within the working room in the present day, bored anesthesiologist Lee Maxwell has been noticed working round Houston Medical Heart, intubating med/surg sufferers on the ground at random.
Nurses had been puzzled after they discovered a number of sufferers on the ground with an endotracheal tube in place, despite the fact that they had been considered medically steady for discharge.  Throughout the first few hours of the morning, blame was being positioned on Anesthesia, despite the fact that well being care professionals on the ground lacked the incriminating proof they wanted.
“What do you imply we didn’t have proof?  All these sufferers had tubes of their throats,” stated cost nurse Frank Schumann, whose ground has extra intubated sufferers than the ICU upstairs.  “If that isn’t Anesthesia’s calling card, I don’t what’s.”
Simply earlier than lunchtime, a affected person was heard coughing.  Schumann astutely ran to the affected person’s bedside, and there he noticed Maxwell throwing down what would have been the 43rd endotracheal tube positioned this morning on a ground affected person if Schumann hadn’t intervened.
“What on earth do you assume you’re doing?!” Schumann shouted at Maxwell.  “He’s simply coughing.  He’s not hypoxemic.”
“He can’t keep his means,” Maxwell insisted.  “Should intubate.”
“Are you out of your thoughts?!”
“MUST INTUBATE.”  Maxwell was now speaking with a monotonic, virtually robot-like tone.  “I would like… to… shield… his airway… Want… extra… airways… Should… intubate…”
Speak to any anesthesiologist, and they’re going to let you know that the occupation is riddled with stresses.  But when there was one factor that scared an anesthesiologist greater than by accident intubating a affected person’s rectum or placing on a puppet present that didn’t convey pleasure to an OR, it was intubating a affected person out of sheer boredom.
At all times concern the bored anesthesiologist.
Fortunately for the coughing affected person, Schumann’s phrases acquired by way of to Maxwell and snapped him out of his intubation spree.
“Good God, what have I turn out to be?!”  Maxwell put the Mac blade down, which he realized he hadn’t even sterilized from affected person to affected person.  He surrendered to hospital safety.  “Please.  Please assist me.”

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